Body Image

I have body image issues; I an insecure about my weight and body. But nowadays, what girl isn’t? I wish I wasn’t but that is what makes me who I am. I am currently taking steps to overcome it (it’s hard, REALLY hard).

I’ll have good days and bad days; ones where I look in the mirror and am disgusted with what I see and others where I’m completely happy with my image. The bad days usually dictate how the rest of my day will pan out; which is something that needs to change.

I’ve struggled for years with self-image. I’ve constantly been trying to lose weight and look better. Finally it got to a point where I wanted to overcome this problem. I began seeing a counselor August of 2012 when I moved to Salt Lake City. I love my counselor, she is wonderful. She is helping me realize that my worth isn’t based on the number on the scale or how good or bad I ate that day. She helped me realize that there are a lot of other things I like about myself and that I have many other people who love me no matter if I am a size 10 or a size 0.

Because fitness and nutrition are such a big part of my life and potentially my future career, it makes it hard to not become obsessive about them when I like them so much. I am working on finding the balance between enjoying them but at the same time, not being consumed with them (such as making them an idol, as Kelly Minter would say in her book “No Other Gods.” I’m in the process of reading this, it’s an eye-opener.) 

April 2012 I hit my highest weight of 142 and decided something really needed to change, and change for good! Between April and November I lost a total of 18 pounds. I still wasn’t happy with where I was at and looked into getting an online fitness coach (I did. It’s been a cool experience and quite the journey). Nico put me on a customized eating and exercise plan. It has definitely been a challenge these past couple months, but I have seen great results and look forward to the results that are to come. I am noticing that I am gaining more confidence in myself with every new day. Since then I've lost another 8 pounds and a couple inches from my stomach area.

I didn't really do that great over the holidays but I jumped right back on the band wagon in January. This is my 7 week progress pictures. Another 7 weeks until summer vacation and I am very excited to see the changes that I can make and the challenges that I can overcome.

My boyfriend, Colton, has been such a great supporter throughout all of this, making lots of sacrifices because of the goals I have. He is eating healthier and exercising on a regular basis, he listens to my rants and frustrations when I’m having a bad day or screw up my eating, he goes to the gym with me, he gives me pep talks, and supports every decision that I make. I am truly blessed to have a Godly man such as him on this journey with me. 

I am still learning that just because I screw up one day doesn’t mean I cannot do better the rest of the day. Today is one day out of a lifetime. I’m learning to not let circumstances like that or the number on the scale ruin the rest of my day. It’s a journey and I’m learning to enjoy it. Motivation is only going to get you so far. Dedication is what keeps a person going.